Its Hard To Stand Strong When Your Not Strong Enough To Get Up On Your Own

recently my life has hit a very rough time emotionally. i thought i was at the end of my rope a few days ago, but its amazing how much the body and soul can go through before you break. i think i can still got a few more shoves without breaking, but im right at the edge of breakdown... its going to take one last thing to just make the tears overflow. all the sadness is just going to come out in one sweep and i dont think anyone will understand or just let me cry beside them. they will all think i am just creating drama or wanting to be the center of attention. that's not my purpose. for that very reason is why i dont like to cry in front of other people and i try to keep in my emotions. i can talk to anyone. i need to learn how to deal with it on my own. i need to be strong. i live on my own and i need to start acting like it. its nobody else's business how i am doing, I'm not meaning that to sound rude to everyone else i am just meaning that i shouldn't load all my sadness onto someone else in hopes that everything will be better. i need to just either keep things in or learn to find a way to make things better for myself, by myself. if i dont rely on anyone else i cant get hurt by anyone else. .... all this sadness around me makes it hard though, it makes it hard for me to get up and stand strong. its so hard. but i know i need to do it. i cant keep relying on others. it wont do me any good. i just need to find someone constructive that i can do so that i wont be so sad and down all the time. I need to stop crying, cry is weak.