i am soo confused, some days i have the desire to make out with someone, but then when it happens and there is no emotion i feel so sad inside. and i want to push guys away from me so i can recover, but then i dont want to because i never know what will happen with the guys i do talk to. tonight i have been close to tears all night. i have been here for 3 weeks and i still haven't made any friends really. and that hurts. it might just be because i work all the time but, nobody has tried to be friends with me either. maybe its me. maybe my personality is not to the liking of people in utah. which hurts to say. i usually make friends kinda fast. this is the longest ive gone without having a big group of friends that i can just chill with. it makes me sad
i guess sometimes i need help, this is one of those times.


later on.


jessi

A New Day

So today is a new day. I slept in really late but thats ok since I dont work tonight. So last night I went hot tubbing with some friends and I met some guys there who said that they wanted to hang out afterward but as soon as the guy came out to tell us that it was time to get out, they guys left like there was a bomb threat out. so i dont know what was up with that. However its no skin off my back. I guess that they weren't serious when they said that. When I say something like: lets do something. I'm serious and I stick to it. The world has made me into this person  that see's things as 'if you want it go get'. I was never really handed things in my life being the middle girl in the family and growing up in a middle class family where money was always tight and it still is. I have to work for anything that I want, and that goes the same for school, and relationships. If I want friends I have to work at it and build those few relationships up that I already do have. Well thats all for now. 


Jessi

what the weird name

yes the name is kinda weird, but i love boots, hoodies and water. My friends say that i could be the official poster child for water! haha. i wear hoodies all the time. and i love my new boots. so basically this blog is about me and lifes little lessons that it teaches me in my day to day experiences. so thats all for now i was just clarifying lol

jessi